Long player.

*** I actually wrote this rather mediocre post about three weeks ago, but it fell down the back of Blogger and I've only just found it. ***

Most recently I have been buying (because downloading is ILLEGAL) and listening to lots of albums. Here are some half arsed reviews:














Justin Timberlake - FUTURE SEX/ LOVE SOUNDS

- This is rather good. However, I can only really comment on the first 3 or 4 songs, because I can't seem to get past them without thinking "Christ almighty Timberlake! Stop being such an arrogant twat and going on about sex in a really dull and up your arse sort of way!". Life is just to short for such dronings, and he should have just released it as a marvellous 4 track EP. Also, it is unforgiveable to kick in a glitter ball. Tread on a baby by all means, but some things in this world are sacred.















Scissor Sisters - Ta-Dah

- What with them performing non-stop for the past week on every television and radio station in the UK, I'd actually heard most of these tracks a few times before buying. This is a solidly good album, with lots of lovely songs. However, there's very little that could be described as amazing, unlike their first album (where there are 5 such tracks). There's also not enough Ana, which is a fucking shame because she is amazing. It's probably no coincidence that the only song she sings, "Kiss You Off", is also the bestest. Other highlights include "I Don't Feel Like Dancing" and whatever the song is that sounds like it's from the Bugsy Malone soundtrack.

Scissor Sisters FACT! Ana Matronic's special fella is the brother of Dee-lite's Lady Kier.














Kylie - Body Language

- Despite owning all her singles, thanks to the Best Of that introduced me to the genius sounds of Kylie, I thought I should make attempts at beefening up my Minogue back catalogue and catching up on the gems that neer got round to release. I found this in HMV for the bargainicious price of £3.99 - probably because everybody said it was rubbish and some clever folk even starting calling it "Shoddy Language". I very much see what they did there. However, it turns out that "everyone" was mostly wrong, because this is a pretty good album, including such great tracks as "Still Standing" (one of her finest songs ever), Secret, Obsession, along with all the singles. Except Slow, because nice video aside, that was a bit rubbish and shouldn't have been the first single. This album does go rather wrong from track nine onwards, where it seems to turn into some sort of futuristic lift music. Except everybody knows that there won't be lifts in the future, and everybody will be beamed about the place like they do in Star Trek.

Kylie FACT! Just like the Queen owns all of the Swans and Sturgeon in the country, Kylie owns all of the gays in the UK and Australia. Except we all know from Neighbours that Australia does not have gays.











Kylie (again) - Impossible Princess

- The final album of her wilderness years saw her going to such terrible measures to writing songs with that miserable James Dean fella from the Manic Street Preatures, however the CD still remains suprisingly good. Brilliant Songs: Cowboy Style, Did It Again, Dreams, Limbo, The twi thirds of "Some Kind Of Bliss" before she starts singing the same line over and over and over again.















James Morrison - Undiscovered

Ooh, what a lovely gravelly voice this fella have. He sounds a bit like that throatless guy on the "Don't Smoke" adverts, who the text at the end tells us didn't get to go to his daughters wedding. I mainly got this CD because I needed a new laid back (/dull) album to listen to when I wake up at 4 am and can't get back to sleep, or when something makes me stressy and I can't find my jar of Kalms. Therefore I feel a bit cheated that it's a much more upbeat and uplifting affair than I was promised. It's all rather brilliant though, so I don't mind too much. I also had the added bonus of sticking the songs on my ipod and then giving the cd to my mum as a nice thoughtful present.