So that new Robin Hood thing started yesterday. I was very excited, because I love a bit of swordplay, heaving bussoms and that swooshing sound that an arrow makes. Therefore I was a bit miffed to find it to be "just quite good".
Now I know a lot about telly - being raised by it, along with spending the last year and a bit attending almost one third of the Film & Television Studies lectures that I'm timetabled in for - so here are 10 simple steps to make the series AMAZING:
- I'm all for casting a Marian with a really massive chin, but why not axe this tiresomely feisty one and stick in the far more entertaining Nadia off Big Brother 5 instead? You could pay her in ciggies and lipgloss too.
- Robin Hood worked best when Disney did it with talking animals - this was no coincidence. It would obviously be impractical and bloody pricey to replace the whole cast with a cross section of British wildlife, but I notice that Marian has no friends. SO BRING IN LADY CLUCK. She can be animatronics or Dawn French with a scottish accent, dipped in feathers. IT REALLY ISN'T ROCKET SCIENCE.
- I'm sure we all agreed a while ago that every new British Drama should have Billie Piper. So find a role for her.
- Put me in it too. Just for one episode. I could be Billie Piper's brother, or a tree, or resume my award winnng Year 4 role of Jesus. I won't appear semi-naked again though. That was just plain dodgy. You wouldn't get away with that directorial decision these days, Mr Francis.
- Everyone was being far too restrained. I want hammy and OTT acting.
- And can we have a token black person please? Being stuck in the arse hole of Wales, I miss a bit of dark skin, and it's not like I'll get it from my other television staple of Neighbours.
- We don't want to see the chubby ginger friend topless. We want Robin and Will Scarlett.
- Together.
- Touching.
- There should probably be a time and space travelling element added to the show too.
Right, producers... carry out these steps by next week please. Although you can probably be getting on with telling the Robin Hood story then, what without having to spend ages introducing all the characters.
x
7 comments:
I haven't seen it yet. And now I won't be able to without thinking of this genius post. And being disappointed noene of the above features are featured.
And as a Media Studies lecturer... get your arse into lessons, you slacker. I'd not have that on my units, you know.
I watched it.
And then it finished.
And then I remembered Maid Marian And Her Merry Men.
And I thought about that for a while, and the yuppy vain and dim Robin in it.
And that was good.
You are SO RIGHT about Disney and talking animals.
I am waiting for Lilly Allen to pop up in the forest as a singer at some kind of thirteenth centrury festival knees up.
And what was that about when Marian used a HAIR ACCESSORY to kill 'a baddie'. Honestly.
Rad - Hello! You'll be pleased to know that I have turned over a new leaf this year, and am attending all my lectures along with actually making notes. I'm also popping ProPlus to stop nodding off in the early ones.
Boz - All particularly valid points, though Lily'll more likely pop up in an episode and start mouthing off about Marian in the Sherwood Gazette. I bought a DVD of MM&HMM a few months back, and it's still a delight. My housemate was sure that one of the guards in Saturday's show was in fact played by Gary, though IMDB doesn't confirm this. It would be brilliant though.
haha, this disney version is ace, i have a funny story about it too...
Cue blurry vision and tranquil music...
it was an ordinary day at for little danny mac. on his way to school up t'high street his mother mentioned fleetingly that she was off to t'market on t'wood (chelmsley wood to u not familiar with brum). Excitingly, danny mac knew he wuld come home to find a present. So at about 11 o clock, danny mac knew his mum wuld be gettin the bus home, so, using all the skills he had learnt thus far (he was in year 3) he pretended 2 b ill and got sent home. His mother took him and his round/robust/chubby little bruvva with them too becuz she culdnt b arsed with walkin back up at home time. So danny mac got home to find disneys robin hood, which he watched, and still wathes to this day. Little Danny mac loves little john and has all the songs hes ever sung including the ones out of the aristocats (ingenious name) and jungle book.
The end.
Wasn't that a nice insight into my humble upbringing?
Oh i played robin hood in a school play, it was the pinnacle of my acting career. And ive been to the tree in the forest which he apparently sat in or sumthing.
I would pay money to see a picture of you fat and topless in a nappy like cloth.
I am guessing they got a think kid to do the cruxifiction scenes
I meant thin
D-Mac: Best. Story. Ever.
What a horrible, deceitful, materialistic child you were though.
I need my rents to send my copy up here though.
Sian - I wasn't at my fat peak back then! So smashingly I was only second fattest, because a fat boy called Robbie or Pete or such name was playing one of the other crucify-ees.
If you pay lots of money keep making chocflapjacks though, I will pile on lots of weight and put on a pampers though.
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