I want a baby.

So yeah, the other day I was standing in a crowded train carriage on my way back to Birmingham. Everyone was stressy and miserable, and giving out that huffy "I'm better than you" stare that folk do in such situations. My stare was naturally superior, coz I actually was better than everyone. But anyway, all our mardiness was soon melted away by the presence of a young mum holding a baby.

It was the coolest and cutest thing ever.

It (I can't work out whether it was a girlbaby or a boybaby) just kept wriggling about and smiling and giggling and touching it's mummy's face. And then every now and then it would just stare out of the window in total wonder.

This all got me thinking about how amazing it would be to have another such life dependent upon me etc... And I came to the conclusion that I want a baby. So much so, in fact, that when I arrived home I even changed my MySpace "Children?" section from "Undecided" to "Someday", which is pretty much in the same league as popping into the adoption agency to pick up leaflets. Obviously not now, but when I'm older, and more financially and emotionally stable. And only if I'm in a strong relationship. So it's quite a stringent check list to meet.

But then I got thinking more, and realised that a bouncing baby would most probably turn into a nasty little shit, filling the rest of my life with stress and misery. Furthermore, babies are bloody hard work and I value my sleep a bit too much. That young mother on the train was probably even fighting an internal battle not to throw the fruit of her womb from the carriage window.

So instead I've decided that I'd quite like to adopt a rescue chimp instead. They're just as rewarding, cuter, and far less stressful.

x