Once upon a time there was a show called Footballers' Wives. It was full of interesting acting, mental plots, fake tan and bitchiness. It was brilliant for three series, before being quite a lot less so for two more.
Amazing things that happened in Footballers' Wives:
- A pair of breasts being set on fire.
- An hermaphrodite baby.
- A nurse having sex with a man in a coma.
- Lots of catfights.
- A swapped baby being covered with fake tan to disguise the fact that he's not actually asian.
- A dead body in a swimming pool.
- Plenty of instances where the plot demanded the cast to be in the shower.
- Death-by-vigorous-shagging-after-having-your-heart-pills -secretly-swapped-with-viagra.
- Death-by-being-knocked-off-a-building-with-a-champagne- bottle.
- Death-by-being-mistakenly-shot-with-a-rifle-by-your- teammate.
- A gang of triads sticking a pet dog in a curry.
- A distraught mother digging up her dead baby's grave with a champagne bucket.
- Fake tan, spiked with Acid.
- Voodoo witchdoctors.
- Various themed weddings (Egyptian, fairytale etc...).
- Joan Collins turning up in series 5, as a love rival to Tanya (above left), the show's greatest character.
- A coke addict's nose falling out.
- A hot air balloon crash landing into the lion enclosure of a safari park.