Wednesday, July 12, 2006

My Adventure by Gareth King aged 8(een)

There is show on my tellyvision called Neighbours and it is extra really brilliant. It is about what life is like in Australia. Anyway there is a bad lady in it called Izzy and she has a band. They have come on holiday to England and we had tickets to watch them sing songs.

So on tuesday after lunch I got on a red and silver train in Birmingham. It was very busy but I could move faster than the pregnant women and pensioners so I managed to get a seat. I sat next to a lady with bingo wings and a big book of SuDoku. She was very clever but had to go to the toilet twice and she smelt a bit after her first trip there. After many minutes and some seconds I got off in a place called Watford. There were lots of platforms and I was confused so I asked a lady in a stripey suit where her train was going. I said excuse me and please but she was unhelpful and quite rude but it's ok because I found a big screen that told me where to go. Another train then took me to Hemel Hempstead.

There Aunty Sian met me and made me feel safe. She has no husband but lots of cats. Aunty Sian took me to her house and made me and another boy a nice tea of fake sausages and chips and sweetcorn. I like sweetcorn because it looks like my nan's teeth. Then Aunty Sian brushed her teeth and we went back to the station and got on lots of trains. One went underground where it was dark.

We were then in a place called Shepherd's Bush but there were no sheep or Shepherds and I could only see trees. There were lots of homeless people who made me feel sad inside though. There was also an outside toilet which I looked at and the door opened and there were two women inside and one was laughing but the other one was screaming because she was sitting down with no trousers on. We went inside a building called the empire.

Inside there were lots of older boys and older girls and me and Aunty Sian bought some fizzy pop which costed lots because London is where poshrich people like Janel Ellis and the Queen live. We then made friends with a girl called Dee who had come from Australia for the night. There were some men on stage singing but they were boring.

A bit later on we stood quite near to the front. Some australian girls who had mens' bodies were angry at us because we had pushed a bit past them. We couldn't help it though because Dee wanted us to meet her friend who was at the front. Then Izzy and her friends came on and it was exciting. You could see Izzy's legs but they were very nice and made me feel funny. Aunty Sian also felt funny but that was because her fizzy pop had made her dizzy. She kept shouting things about wanting to be there "groupie". There was an old pervy man right at the very front who was looking up Izzy's pant area. I took a picture:



He had his hands in his pockets. Everybody else was waving theirs about and being happy. Izzy sung songs for nearly an hour. She sung the ones off the casette what I have which is my faourite and also that song by No Doubt that everybody sort of knows but doesn't know the name too (Hella Good). She also sung a song by an old band called Transvision Vamp. Then they all left the stage and I was sad but they were only pretending because they came back and sung a song called Voodoo Child that is very good and everyone knows because it is on the radio and they sell it in Woolworths. One of the older boys made a video of it and put it here.

It all ended and it is was past my bedtime but it was still quite early because Izzy's Band is not hardcore like Slipknot or Rooster. Although they were a bit grown up because they didn't have dancers or fireworks. I would have liked dancers and fireworks. We went round the stage door to try and lick Izzy and her friends. There were lots of nice people and the pervy man and some older boys who didn't look like they had been close to girls before. One nice older girl said she loved Izzy but I think she was mistook because she is a girl. There was a man guarding the door who wouldn't let us in. We got bored of waiting though and Sian was still dizzy and on the floor and a crazy homeless man sat by her and said words that weren't proper words to her. SO we went home, but this is what it would look like if we had met them and got Izzy's autograph:



Bye bye.

x

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude! I was in Watford yesterday!!!! *has a heart attack*
This has gotta be the most adorable blog ever. You sound like an unloved retard. Bless.

Gareth said...

:(

I did think I could taste The Uma in the air.

Anonymous said...

That is one beautiful breast there

Gareth said...

Just a shame it hangs so low.