Monday, November 20, 2006

Jingle Balls

And here's another rubbish thing about the X Factor... it's totally destroyed the hallowed tradition of the Christmas Number one. This really gets on my nips, since it means we no longer get the exciting chart battles and effort made by artists to reach the top, because we all know that it'll be The X Factor winner singing something from Now That's What I Call The 50 Greatest Ballads Ever! cd. This year it's set to be "A Moment Like This", also off the telly adverts for Sandals Holiday Resorts. Fucking. Hell.

From the limited selection, here are three that should be number one instead:




It's Jordan and Peter! And it's for charity, so people can't slag it off. Well that's what they hoped at least. Personally I love it. It's got cringe value.




Aaargh. This is a single from the kid's show Lazytown. I've only seen a few episodes, but they all gave me migraines. Everyone's so happy in it, the little fuckers. I don't quite understand why either, because there's a self righteous argentinian wanker called Sporticus marching around the place and brainwashing them into eating fruit instead of sweets. I quite like the song, though only as it's christmas.




Hooray! It's The Aloud with their best cover version since Jump! And what is this I see? A video that manages to be good despite the £4.80 budget? Blimey O'Riley - it's got magic and shiney bosoms and a lovely hair/hat combo from Kimberley, so it gets my vote. This is only being released to plug the Greatest Hits album (which actually contains a rubbish, lazy version of this song), but let's hope it does better than last year's number 9 performance for their worst single ever.

My mum says that Cliff Richard is also making another attempt at the Christmas Number One slot. She went to see him on Friday night, but thought that "he was singing that one from a few years back, until he said that it was his new christmas single". High praise indeed.


x

9 comments:

grimbin said...

Fookin love Pete and Katie, they kick arse, shes just so, what the word...common, yer common. She just slags off anybody she can, but hey, she aint got where she is for not being like that has she? I heard some of their other covers, decent too, who'd have thought she was such a good singer, altho I spose we should have guessed with a chest that big....the aloud song is shite tho, as was the original.

Doris said...

It was so much simpler when it was always Slade.

Anonymous said...

ITWAN is growing on me.
But....woah...see the day was awesome! I've listened to it so many times this week! Its so christmassy! And they had cake dresses. I want a cake dress! Damn it, I just want cake. Its not the song at all...:(...(except it is)

Gareth said...

Oooh gosh lots of comments! How lovely, thanks (I'm just taking time out from ESSAY HELL you see).

I'm imagining Uma standing in a pretty dress, but then halfway through singing See The Day, she takes a bite out of it, for it is actually made of cake. Amazing.

LaLa said...

I could only watch about 35 seconds of Peter and Katie and that other song with children yelling with bananas. I am voting for GA!

That blonde one out of GA looks like she has had some wicked eyebrow lifting!

Gareth said...

I can't believe you'd insinuate such a thing. Sarah's all natural! But, yeah... I also love the way her hair keeps getting whiter, as her skin gets more orange. She'll soon look like a gingerbread man with iced on hair.

Adrian said...

Goodness, that Girls Aloud video is immense! The nudity at the end is something of a surprise!

Excellent! Look at Nicola! I love her little wink to the camera. Look at Cheryl being vaudeville / burlesque (but more vaudeville).

Kimberley! Running in heels and fancy dresses.

Nicola's got the key, she's got the secret!

Wow.

Boz said...

I agree with popjustice.com - the only thing in the suitcase that could have provoked that kind of response from Nicola is, in fact, a Big Mac.

Oooo I'm mean.

Gareth said...

One day you'll need Nicola's help y'know.

Adrian - the nudity at the end apparently cannot be shown before the watershed. That's how raunchy it is...